One Million Moms, a side project of the hate group American Family Association, is very angry at JC Penney.
You see, JC Penney, probably drunk at the time on the white man’s fire water, hired Ellen DeGeneres, an openly gay woman, as it’s spokesperson.
“Funny that JC Penney thinks hiring an open homosexual spokesperson will help their business when most of their customers are traditional families,” the One Million Moms wrote on their website.
By ‘traditional’, of course, they mean ‘just like us’.
The One Million Moms is asking people to call JC Penney and complain.
“Please,” they beseeched, “for the love of God, pick up that phone and take a stand against all this evil homosexuality going on. Ellen and people like her need to stop expressing their sexuality they way they want and start expressing it the way we, the One Million Moms, think they should.”
The problem for the One Million Moms, despite the fact there isn’t even close to one million of them, is that Ellen DeGeneres is probably the most beloved television personality going.
“We just don’t get it,” the One Million Moms lamented. “How come it’s not the 50s anymore?”
The One Million Moms want JC Penney “to replace Ellen DeGeneres as their new spokesperson immediately and remain neutral in the culture war that only exists in our heads.”
The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Discrimination (GLAAD) responded to the One Million Moms with a resounding “fat chance.”
“A vast majority of Americans today support Ellen as well as their LGBT friends and family members,” Herndon Graddick, a GLAAD spokesman said in a written statement. “Selecting an out performer who has inspired and entertained millions, is not only a smart business practice, but a reflection of how LGBT Americans today are an integral and valued part of the fabric of our culture.”
DeGeneres’ daytime talk show has more viewers than the One Million Moms has moms. Ellen averages a whopping 3.38 million viewers a day. Pretending for a moment, like the One Million Moms themselves, that there really are one million moms in One Million Moms, that’s still 2.38 million more viewers than moms.
A few days after the One Million Moms call for action, J.C. Penney confirmed that it “stands behind its partnership with Ellen DeGeneres.”
As noted above, the One Million Moms is a franchise (or something) of the hate group American Family Association. I’m not being facetious in calling them a hate group. The Southern Poverty Law Center has defined them, correctly, as such. You see, if you team up with other people, forming a group, and then hate on gays and Muslims, you’re a hate group.
Even Jesus is embarrassed by them and has changed his religion on Facebook from “Christian” to “Spiritual” in an attempt to distance himself.
The One Million Moms were upset with JC Penney’s decision not to pay them any mind. “Today we learned that our obsession with the way other people have sex doesn’t matter at all to JC Penney and that makes us very sad. America and everyone in it (except for us) will burn in the fires of hell for all eternity.”
GLAAD applauded JC Penney’s decision to stick with DeGeneres, but not really. Seriously, do you think they were all clapping around the water cooler? They did, however, issue a statement of support.
“This week Americans spoke out in overwhelming support of LGBT people and J.C. Penney’s decision not to fire Ellen simply for who she happens to love,” said Herndon Graddick, senior director of programs and communications at GLAAD.
Defeated, the One Million Moms who don’t even number a million have returned to their favorite pastime, which is shooting dirty looks at strangers who seem a little “different”. -By Michael Kindt-The Cagle Post
You see, JC Penney, probably drunk at the time on the white man’s fire water, hired Ellen DeGeneres, an openly gay woman, as it’s spokesperson.
“Funny that JC Penney thinks hiring an open homosexual spokesperson will help their business when most of their customers are traditional families,” the One Million Moms wrote on their website.
By ‘traditional’, of course, they mean ‘just like us’.
The One Million Moms is asking people to call JC Penney and complain.
“Please,” they beseeched, “for the love of God, pick up that phone and take a stand against all this evil homosexuality going on. Ellen and people like her need to stop expressing their sexuality they way they want and start expressing it the way we, the One Million Moms, think they should.”
The problem for the One Million Moms, despite the fact there isn’t even close to one million of them, is that Ellen DeGeneres is probably the most beloved television personality going.
“We just don’t get it,” the One Million Moms lamented. “How come it’s not the 50s anymore?”
The One Million Moms want JC Penney “to replace Ellen DeGeneres as their new spokesperson immediately and remain neutral in the culture war that only exists in our heads.”
The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Discrimination (GLAAD) responded to the One Million Moms with a resounding “fat chance.”
“A vast majority of Americans today support Ellen as well as their LGBT friends and family members,” Herndon Graddick, a GLAAD spokesman said in a written statement. “Selecting an out performer who has inspired and entertained millions, is not only a smart business practice, but a reflection of how LGBT Americans today are an integral and valued part of the fabric of our culture.”
DeGeneres’ daytime talk show has more viewers than the One Million Moms has moms. Ellen averages a whopping 3.38 million viewers a day. Pretending for a moment, like the One Million Moms themselves, that there really are one million moms in One Million Moms, that’s still 2.38 million more viewers than moms.
A few days after the One Million Moms call for action, J.C. Penney confirmed that it “stands behind its partnership with Ellen DeGeneres.”
As noted above, the One Million Moms is a franchise (or something) of the hate group American Family Association. I’m not being facetious in calling them a hate group. The Southern Poverty Law Center has defined them, correctly, as such. You see, if you team up with other people, forming a group, and then hate on gays and Muslims, you’re a hate group.
Even Jesus is embarrassed by them and has changed his religion on Facebook from “Christian” to “Spiritual” in an attempt to distance himself.
The One Million Moms were upset with JC Penney’s decision not to pay them any mind. “Today we learned that our obsession with the way other people have sex doesn’t matter at all to JC Penney and that makes us very sad. America and everyone in it (except for us) will burn in the fires of hell for all eternity.”
GLAAD applauded JC Penney’s decision to stick with DeGeneres, but not really. Seriously, do you think they were all clapping around the water cooler? They did, however, issue a statement of support.
“This week Americans spoke out in overwhelming support of LGBT people and J.C. Penney’s decision not to fire Ellen simply for who she happens to love,” said Herndon Graddick, senior director of programs and communications at GLAAD.
Defeated, the One Million Moms who don’t even number a million have returned to their favorite pastime, which is shooting dirty looks at strangers who seem a little “different”. -By Michael Kindt-The Cagle Post
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Foot Note: Michael Kindt is writer living in South Dakota whose work has appeared in College Times, Midwest Lit Review and in the poetry anthology “It’s Dark & Scary In Here.” He’s the author of “Early Onset of Night, Volume One” and blogs at Early-Onset-of-Night.tumblr.com. Twitter: @MichaelKindt
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